Archive for December, 2008

Bah, Humbug

December 27, 2008

Yes, I said bah humbug. It is the day after Christmas, and all the Christmas things are down and put away, except for the outdoor lights, which will probably come down tomorrow. That is all perfectly fine by me.

I don’t get Christmas. Now I don’t mean “Oh, poor me, I didn’t get to have Christmas this year”, I mean I just don’t understand Christmas.

I am not religious in any sense of the word. I have been to a church service once, and thought it was a waste of a Sunday morning. I don’t have Faith, in the religious sense of the word. I was not brought up that way. My approach to God and religion is one of “Well, there might be, there might not be, I don’t know, I’m too busy thinking about my life and trying to be a good person.” I have enough stress from life to have to add in the stress over my everlasting soul being sent to damnation or not.

Christmas is a religious holiday. Jesus was born on December the 25th. Or, so the Bible says. I heard somewhere that historians actually think Jesus was born in July.

So, we go out and get an evergreen tree, chop it down (or, you know, bring the plastic and metal one down from the attic), bring it inside, put lots of little lights on it, cover it with small shiny objects, then put gifts to each other under the tree.

Why?

Really, to celebrate a religious leader, that wasn’t even really that much of a leader at the time? He was just a guy that wanted people to be nice to each other.

Now, before you go all crazy on me, about how he was the son of God, don’t you believe that, do you think he was just lying, whatever. Answer this:

Have you ever played the game Telephone? Where one person tells a story, or something to one person, and it passes down the line, and you see what you get? Yeah, I did that in ASL one time. The teacher was talking about her dog, a cocker spanial, he’s black, they got him at 6 months, he’s 8 now, whatever. We ended up with “The boy has a blue dog.”

I think that’s what has happened. Maybe not as drastically, but the same idea. The Bible has been translated to and from every language possible.

Here is an example, using an online translator (English to language, back to English, to language, etc):

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

French: Blessed are the soft one, because they will inherit the ground

German: Blessed are the soft, because they inherit the ground

Italian: Blessed is the morbidezza, because they inherit the earth

Portuguese: Blessed is morbidezza, because they inherit the land

Spanish: Blessed is morbidezza, because they inherit the track

Based with all this margin for human error, I don’t think God or the Goddess, or all the gods and goddesses in all the world could blame me for not trusting my fellow humans.

And that is why I don’t like Christmas.

Did I lose you? Yeah, thought so.

It’s just so… commercialized. You always start seeing more ads for toys in December, always see more ads for THINGS, and everything “Makes a Great Gift!” even a Clapper.

Don’t waste the energy trying to tell me that it’s about giving, and sharing what you have, and ‘holiday cheer’, whatever that really means. Shouldn’t we be generous all year? Shouldn’t we be kind all year? Shouldn’t we visit our relatives not just around the holidays?

To quote Eddie Izzard:

Ein minuten bitte! Ich habe einen kleinen problemo avec diese religione.

Hanukkah isn’t nearly so advertized as Christmas. You go into almost any store in November or December, everything is Christmas. Same thing with Kwanzaa. You never hear about those.

I don’t concider myself athiest, nor do I concider myself agnostic. Though I don’t align myself with any other major -or minor, for that matter- religion. I don’t mind people that are religious, just don’t try to convert me, or impose your beliefs on me, and I’m more than happy to be your friend.

Gingerbread!

December 13, 2008

Oh, I have a very exciting social life. You want to hear about it? You may want to sit down for this, it’s that good.

I spent Friday evening helping a couple munchkins make gingerbread houses.

I know, I’m such a party animal, aren’t I? No stopping me.

It was kind of cute. There was a 3 year old boy that would say yes to anything you offered to him. “Do you want a big dot of frosting right here?” “Yes.” “Do you want to put some Nerds on your house?” “Yes.” I could have asked him “Do you want me to put lots of big frosting hearts all over the house?” “Yes.”

Then there was a 7 year old girl. She was fine, not as cute as the little boy, though. Then another woman came over with her 7 year old daughter, and house pieces. It ended up really being the mom’s house to decorate, her daughter was just eating candy and helping the other girl.

I was the designated piper. Need some more frosting over here? Okay, just a sec. Oo, he wants more for candy canes, okay. My hand was really tired after that.

Got home, had dinner. My parents put a house together, and I did one. Turned out really cute.

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That’s a little doorknob on the door. Bit of broken Necco, and a M&M wreath. I meant to have them all facing the same way, so it would be just green dots, but I wasn’t paying attention. Oh well. And those are little frosting icicles, too.

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Red bow in the back. Again, I wanted all the blank sides to face out, but wasn’t paying enough attention, and wasn’t too terribly worried about it.

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I had never done a tiled or shingled roof before. Just pipe on some frosting, break a bunch of Neccos in half, and stick ’em on. And yes, I do have a little window box or window sill. Those are chocolate rocks, my parents found them.

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I have a chimney. It is just a munch of broken up dark Neccos. I really like it, though. And yes, I have another rock on this side.

I think this was the best gingerbread house I have done. I really like it. And I haven’t even started breaking bits off yet.

Oh, then today my mom came home from work with a Fun Fur scarf. Jesus Christ on a broken crutch.

One of her coworkers started it three years ago, when they were really popular. Had about 6 inches on it. My mom agreed to finish it for her, and I have been working on it a little too. The woman claims to love it, and would wear it.

That thing looks like a muppet pelt that has been in some back alley of a big city for months. It’s gray, yellow, and brown. My mom claims it is silver, gold, and bronze. Six one way, half-dozen the other. Bleagh.

I have thought about knitting a Muppet for myself, but that means I would have to do shaping in eyelash yarn. It would mean I would have to use eyelash yarn, period.

I Believe…

December 7, 2008

… in the power of music, to both inspire change, and to keep me from killing people when it is too early, or I have to sit too long with nothing to do.

… in knitting to be able to do the same thing.

… that laughter, while unable to hold a candle to penicillin, is still pretty good.

… everyone in the world should knit.

… in the Christmas spirit, even if it can get a bit much sometimes and I go all Grinch on everyone’s sorry @$$. : D

… that costumes at any time of the year, not just Halloween, can never be a bad thing.

… people think they are doing what is right, for a given value of “right”.

… in laneus veritas. (taken from the phrase in vino veritas, meaning “in wine is truth”, laneus, apparently, means wool)